My Shameful Secret Read online

  I can’t even open my eyes when I feel him take my shoes off before lifting me up in his arms and taking me to the en-suite shower. Inside, he uses the handheld spray to rinse me, and I can’t help but shudder and moan anew when the soapy movements of his fingers feel very much like a caress on my still-quivering pussy.

  “P-please…” But still his fingers continue to torment my flesh.

  My knees buckle, my body starts to sway alarmingly, and then I start to fall.

  Mr. X catches me in time, and I feel his chest vibrate against mine with his soft chuckle.

  “You’re so damn sensitive,” he whispers into my ear.

  “S-sorry,” I whisper back, ashamed.

  He bites my ear, and over my whimper he says, “Don’t be. I like you sensitive, so stay that way.”

  After patting my flesh dry with a disposable towel sheet, Mr. X brings me back to his office and despite my blushing protests, he insists on helping me to my underwear and shoes.

  When I’m once again dressed, he begins, “I’ll get my driver to---”

  I shake my head vehemently. “Nope.”

  His gaze narrows. “I prefer to have my driver take you home. It’s already late.”

  “It’s not that late, and you know it.”

  “Nevertheless---”

  “I’ve been commuting my entire life,” I cut him off gently. “I know how to take care of myself.”

  His jaw hardens. “You’re not going to budge on this one, are you?”

  “I’m sorry. I won’t.” I bite my lip. “But please don’t get mad?”

  After a moment, Mr. X sighs. “I’m not.” Closing the distance between us, he surprises me by placing a kiss on my forehead. “Take care on your way home then.” But just as I pull away, he whispers into my ear, “The next move is still yours.”

  Chapter 5

  He has to be playing with me. Right? Isn’t this thing we have supposed to be mutual? The give-and-take kind? So why do I have to be the one who keeps making advances?

  I’m hopelessly confused, but unfortunately it’s one of those few questions I can’t ask Google. I suppose I could crowdsource via Reddit---

  Nah.

  Not only is it too risky, but I think Mr. X would kill me if he ever finds out I’ve resorted to online polling to figure out his motives.

  In the end there’s only one thing I can do, and so I meet up with Ginger at a sushi bar after work, and I spill the beans to her over tea and raw fish.

  And yes, I know it’s a bad idea. Her kind of advice tends to get me into more trouble, but it’s not like I have a choice. She’s my only friend in town.

  After downing her tiny cup of oolong tea, Ginger declares, “Go for it.”

  “Go for what?”

  “Stalk him like he says,” she explains breezily. “He gave you the green light, didn’t he? So you should totally stalk him, and actually – you should go ahead and ask him to take your V-card, too---”

  “Ginger!” Oh my God, why didn’t I listen to my instincts? I knew it was a bad idea to ask for her advice.

  “What?” Ginger sounds genuinely nonplussed, which of course drives me crazier. Does she not realize what she’s asking me to do?

  “It’s just normal to go and approach a guy,” I protest feelingly, “and say, hey, can you be my first time?”

  Ginger brushes my words off with a flutter of her fingers, saying, “You totally can these days. Some women are even auctioning their virginities online, you know. It’s all about making it your choice, and so why wouldn’t you want Mr. X to be your first time? If you’re going to lose your virginity and you have this heaven-sent opportunity to have Mr. X take it from you, go for it! Most women aren’t so lucky. You work at a hospital. I’m sure you’ve heard horror stories of how horribly wrong first-time sex can go.”

  My shoulders slump. Unfortunately, she’s right, and I do know how horribly wrong virgin sex can go.

  After chewing on a slice of fresh tuna, she points her chopsticks towards me, saying, “Be honest. You’re not really worried about losing your virginity to him, are you?”

  I clamp my mouth shut, unwilling to answer.

  “Ha,” Ginger crows. “I knew it! What you’re really worried about is how having sex with a guy like Mr. X could make you fall for him.” She pauses meaningfully. “And you don’t want that because you’re scared of being hurt. Right?”

  “You seem to have all the answers already,” I grumble, “so why bother asking?”

  Ginger cackles like an evil witch who knows she’s got her evil claws into her hopeless victim, which of course is…me.

  “You can’t fool me, babe. I’ve known you since forever.”

  I don’t answer and focus instead on shoving the last piece of kani maki into my mouth.

  “Listen. You’ve been a good girl your entire life. It’s time to live a little, don’t you think? And Mr. X – he’s all the excitement you need, and it’s only going to get better if you let him fuck---”

  I clap my hand over her mouth, pleading, “Will you please stop saying things like that?”

  She takes off my hand with a laugh. “You’re so uptight.” Taking hold of my shoulders from across the table, she tells me firmly, “Live a little, Ani. Have sex with him. Nothing bad’s going to happen as long as you do everything with your eyes wide open.”

  “I just don’t know---”

  “Repeat after me, babe. This is all for fun.”

  “This is all for fun,” I echo.

  “I just want him for his body, not his heart.”

  My eyes widen.

  “Go on,” Ginger prods.

  With a sigh, I say, “I just want him for his body, not his heart.” But even as I say it, I know it’s not true. Everything I’ve written on my Hobo is proof that it’s the actual opposite. He wouldn’t have been my imaginary boyfriend if I had only wanted his body.

  Ginger raises her teacup. “Kanpai!”

  “Kanpai.” I try not to let my apprehension show as we clink our teacups together in a toast. Can I really take it to the next level?

  Over breakfast the next day, I review my meticulously written notes on my Hobo, which include details of Mr. X’s schedule. Gnawing on my lip, I try to figure out when’s the best time to stalk – I mean, approach him. No matter what Mr. X says, I am not a stalker. Or at least I’m not the run-of-the-mill type. I’m just…exceptionally good at researching stuff, and according to my “research” –

  Mm.

  Right.

  I guess I can wait for him there.

  Stalking – or rather, the art of arranging supposedly coincidental encounters - is all about timing, and so I make sure to leave earlier than usual for work. When I arrive at the hospital, I have more than an hour before my shift officially starts.

  Perfect, I think to myself as I take the elevator to the fourth floor, where the hospital’s exclusive gym for board members and select members of the staff is located.

  I’ve only been pacing for about five minutes outside the gym when a male resident steps out and tells me that I’m to meet Dr. Blackmore inside.

  Oh, wow. That was fast.

  I follow the resident inside, and I’m quietly impressed by how luxurious and state-of-the-art the entire facility appears. It looks more like a fitness spa than a corporate-owned gym.

  I spot a couple of treadmills and other exercise machines ahead of us, but the male resident shakes his head when he sees where I’m looking. “Dr. Blackmore is in there.” He gestures to the double doors to our right and pushes them open, saying, “He’s waiting for you.”

  I’ve only taken a few steps in when I stop dead in my tracks with a squeak of surprise, realizing too late I’ve entered the men’s locker room.

  I hear a familiar chuckle, and my head whips towards the sound.

  It’s Mr. X, his dark brown hair still wet, and with only the tiniest towel wrapped around his hard, powerful body.

  Another squeak escapes me as my hands automatically fly to cover my eyes.

  Why is he so…so…not dressed?

  “Thanks, Matt,” I hear Mr. X murmur. “I’ll take it from here.”

  “Anytime, Dr. Blackmore.”

  I hear the doors swing shut behind me as the male resident leaves.

  A moment later, a pair of strong arms sweeps me up in my arms, and I gasp in shock. Peeling my hands from my face, I find Mr. X grinning at me.

  “You’re too adorable, sweetheart.”

  “I feel like that’s not a compliment,” I mumble. Seeing that we’re still moving, I look around, and my face turns red when I realize he’s taken me to the shower area.

  “Umm…”

  “No one typically comes here at this time,” Mr. X explains, “but it would be better if we play it safe, don’t you think?”

  “Umm…”

  “In here, we’re guaranteed not to be disturbed.” He steps inside a shower cubicle and locks the door before letting me slide to my feet.

  “Disturbed from what?” I ask blankly.

  “From this.” And then he pushes me against the cold, tiled wall and kisses me hard.

  Ooooh.

  Sucking hard on my lower lip, Mr. X mutters, “I didn’t expect to have you stalk me this early---”

  “I’m n-not stalking---” But my voice is weak and breathless, and I can’t even finish my sentence as his lips nibble down its way to my chest.

  His fingers swiftly unbutton my blouse, and I look down as he pushes my bra out of the way. “M-M---” I manage to catch myself in time, having almost called him Mr. X to his face.

  Mr. X’s head lifts up. “What were you about to say?”

  “N-nothing,” I stammer.

  “I could’ve sworn you had said something…something th
at starts with M.”

  “You’re wrong!” Panicking at the thought that he could wrangle the thought out of me, I say unthinkingly, “A-aren’t you going to kiss my breasts yet?”

  His eyes widen.

  My cheeks burn, but even so I lift my chin, asking as firmly as I can, “A-aren’t you?”

  “You’ve become a demanding little thing.” His lips curve into a smirk. “I like it.”

  Oh!

  “And as you wish…”

  Mr. X cups my breasts, bends his head, and takes one nipple in.

  Aaaaah.

  He starts to suck, gently and then harder and harder, and I find myself gripping his shoulders, unable to believe how much pleasure it’s giving me just to have his mouth on my breast.

  When he moves to my other breast, sucking on my nipple, I have to cover my mouth as an inevitable moan falls past my lips.

  Oh God.

  Is it normal to feel this good about it?

  Raising his head, he asks thickly, “Do I pass?”

  “Y-yes,” I choke out.

  Squeezing my breast, he asks in a low, husky voice, “Is it what you came here for?”

  Embarrassed and dismayed by his question, I gasp, “Of c-course not!”

  “Then what did you come here for?” A wicked grin slashes his mouth. “Perhaps you want me to tongue-fuck---”

  “Oh my God, no!” I stare at him with even greater embarrassment and dismay. First, Ginger, and now it’s Mr. X. Am I the only one who can’t say such things out loud?

  “So if it’s not that…” Mr. X’s tone is pensive, but I’m not fooled by it, and especially not when he has such a devilish gleam in his blue-gray eyes.

  And I’m right to doubt him when his next words are---

  “Did you come here to return the favor?”

  My mouth opens and closes. Favor? What does he mean? Surely, he couldn’t mean that?

  “You’re not saying a thing,” Mr. X murmurs. “Does that mean I’m right?”

  “I…ah…”

  “Oh, sweetheart,” Mr. X purrs. “You could’ve said so from the start. I would never say no to having my cock in your mouth.”

  And the next thing I know, I’m slowly being pushed down to my knees.

  Oh.

  The towel falls to the tiled floor---

  My.

  And I find myself staring straight at Mr. X’s long, thick, hard cock.

  God.

  As I gulp hard, I hear Mr. X ask, “Are you just going to stare at it?” The amusement lacing his voice makes my cheeks turn redder, but my entire body remains frozen. Technically, I do know what to do. It’s not that difficult to figure out. But – what if I still do it wrong? What if I accidentally bite too hard or suck too hard---

  Ginger’s warning voice pops up in my mind. Overthinking is a buzzkill.

  Right. Right.

  But even so, I hear myself ask, “Can you, umm, give me instructions?”

  There’s a moment of silence.

  And then I hear Mr. X laughing.

  It’s a sexy sound, but it’s also very bad for my self-esteem, and I half-wail defensively, “I just want to make sure I’d do it right because it’s my first time!”

  Mr. X grins down at me, but his voice is soothing when he says, “I know, sweetheart.” His hands settle on my head. “Very well then. You can start by holding my cock with your dominant hand.”

  My throat dries as I gingerly do as he says, and I’m quietly in awe at how my fingers seem to oh-so-naturally curl around the silky, rigid length of his arousal. Does that mean I’ve an innate talent for this – or does it simply make me a natural-born slut?

  “Now, start stroking.”

  I move my fingers up and down slowly, stroking him carefully---

  “Keep your grip tight, sweetheart.”

  My fingers tighten, and I hear Mr. X draw his breath in, saying thickly, “Exactly like that.”

  The pleasure in his voice makes me feel a little more daring than usual, and not letting myself overthink, I just bend my head and take his cock in---

  Mmph.

  A hoarse sound of surprise escapes Mr. X as I struggle to stretch my lips open so I can take more of him in. I don’t think I’ve ever had anything so uncompromisingly big in my mouth before, and the thought is both intimidating and shockingly thrilling.

  His fingers suddenly grip my hair as he grits out, “Take your time. There’s no need to hurry.”

  Heeding his words, I force myself to relax, and it works, allowing my lips to open more widely and a few more inches of his cock slide in.

  Oh God.

  So this is what it means to have my mouth stuffed full of a man’s cock.

  The thought is impossibly lewd, but it’s also unbearably exciting and I’m shocked to find myself becoming wet as I struggle to take more and more of his cock.

  I can’t believe I’m being aroused by the fact I’m giving Mr. X a blowjob.

  “Want more instructions?” Mr. X asks roughly.

  My head bobs, and his cock moves inside my mouth accordingly. It’s strange, funny, and erotic all at the same time.

  “Start sucking my cock like you would a lollipop.”

  Oh! The words make me imagine all sorts of things, and I can feel my cheeks heating up once more. Even so, I can’t help the rush of eagerness inside of me as I hasten to do as he says.

  I start with the head of his head, sucking softly and hesitantly, and when he doesn’t complain about my teeth painfully scraping his skin, I become more confident and start sucking harder.

  Mr. X groans. “That’s perfect.”

  My grip on his cock tightens with more confidence, and I start stroking him just a little faster and harder all the while trying to match it with the sucking motions of my mouth.

  His fingers tighten its hold on my head. “You’re fucking good.” As he speaks, he starts thrusting his cock deeper into my mouth, all the way to the back of my throat.

  I’m so shocked I choke a little, but he doesn’t ease up, only continuing to fuck my mouth in a hard steady space---

  More moisture floods my pussy, and it’s yet another shock. Is his forcefulness actually turning me on?

  I try to concentrate on sucking him, but my own body is distracting me, with the way my pussy throbs every time he shoves his cock deep into my mouth.

  Gradually, his movements become wildly irregular, his thrusts interspersed by his rough growls of pleasure. I find myself releasing his cock so I can clutch his bare butt, my fingers digging deep into the toned cheeks as Mr. X pounds his cock into my mouth harder and harder.

  “Anisia.”

  I shudder at the sound of my name on his lips.

  Oh God, I feel like I could blow him forever just to hear him say my name like that again and again.

  “I’m about to come, sweetheart.” I feel him start to withdraw from my mouth. “You can ease off---”

  But for some reason I find myself doing the opposite of what he says, sucking harder on his cock, and Mr. X inhales sharply.

  “I’m going to cum in your mouth if you don’t let go,” he bites out.

  The thought of his cum in my mouth only makes my body shudder and my pussy throb harder.

  “Anisia---”

  I take a risk, sinking my teeth ever so gently into the head of his cock.

  Mr. X stiffens. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuuuuuuck.” And then he’s coming in my mouth.

  The first hot gush of his seed takes me completely by surprise, and it takes everything not to choke on it. I struggle to swallow everything in, and as he continues to twitch and ejaculate in my mouth I eventually adjust to the feel of his hot sticky cum flowing down my throat.

  It tastes creamy and salty.

  It tastes like him.

  And I love it.

  When it’s all over, he leans against the wall, his semi-erect cock popping out of my mouth. I stay on my knees, feeling strangely feminine and powerful at the same time.

  I feel his hand settle on the top of my head, and I look up.

  “That was out of this world, Anisia.” His voice is gritty but tender, and happiness unfurls inside of me at the thought of how much I’ve pleasured him.

  Pulling me up gently to my feet, he says softly, “Thank you.”

  “I was…” I swallow hard then finish shyly, “I was happy to do it.”

  Tipping my chin up, he asks, “You enjoyed it then?” I can only blush, but it seems enough of an answer for him since he hauls me close and kisses me hard. I gasp against his lips, unprepared by the kiss and more so the feel of his naked body against my fully clothed form.