My Shameful Secret Read online

  “Morning, babe.”

  My heart pounds against my chest at the huskily spoken words, and I realize that’s my answer. With Ethan Alexander, it’s just not my respiratory system that suffers. In time, I’ll also probably need a heart transplant, with the way he’s making the current one work overtime.

  Last night we finally exchanged numbers, and boy did we burn the phone lines as soon as both of us were home. We stayed up until the wee hours talking, and it wasn’t like phone sex or anything. It was just…an amazing kind of normal, if that makes sense.

  Clearing my throat, I ask, “I-is there anything I can do for you?”

  “A lot,” Ethan purrs, “but the question is whether you’d want to do it, too.”

  Dear God, this man’s just too sexy.

  I open my mouth to answer, but he suddenly murmurs, “Say ‘yes, Ms. Hiller’.”

  Realizing that he must be watching me now and he’s found nosy glances turning my way, I say obediently, “Yes, Ms. Hiller.”

  “Perfect. Most everyone’s looking away now.”

  “I don’t understand why the situation warrants attention,” I mumble.

  Ethan chuckles. “I’m not surprised. You seem to think you’re invisible---”

  “Which I am,” I confirm. I’m the intern, after all.

  “No, you’re---” There’s a sudden pause before Ethan’s voice becomes abrupt. “Say ‘I understand, Ms. Hiller’.”

  “I understand, Ms. Hiller.”

  “I need to do something about that girl next to you. She’s becoming a nuisance.”

  The distinct iciness

  that colors Ethan’s tone makes me blink, and I say nervously, “It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

  “That’s nice of you,” he drawls, “but unfortunately for her I’m not as nice.”

  Oh. The hint of wrath in his voice is something I’m unused to, and it’s daunting. I scribble on my notepad and turn it towards the security camera.

  You’re scaring me.

  Ethan sighs. “Sorry, babe. I didn’t mean to.”

  “It’s okay---” I almost say ‘sir’ but catch myself in time. “Ma’am. I’m sorry, err, ma’am. I’ll be more careful.”

  “There’s nothing for you to apologize about. You’re not used to things like this.”

  But he is? The thought produces a surprising and entirely unwanted spurt of jealousy inside of me, and I struggle to keep my face expressionless, knowing that he might still be watching.

  I’ve never thought myself to be the jealous type but I guess it simply depends on how much I want something – or someone – to be mine.

  “Anyway…”

  At the sound of Ethan’s voice, I quickly turn my mind away from such confusing thoughts, grateful for a distraction.

  “I’ve yet to tell you why I called.”

  “O-oh?” It’s not like he’s said anything inappropriate, but my pulse has suddenly started racing, and I have to struggle from keeping my voice sound breathless. I just feel that something’s about to happen, and isn’t that---

  “What’s it to be today, babe?” His voice lowers a notch. “How far do you want me to go?”

  Crazy.

  Ethan Alexander is driving me crazy.

  “W-what do you mean?” I stammer even though deep inside of me, I…know. My whole body knows, which is why it’s trembling so hard now and I’m doing my best to keep my legs still, not wanting to give myself away.

  “Forgive me.” And yet, the darn man sounds more amused than penitent. “I sometimes forget how innocent you are---”

  “I’m n-not---”

  “Or maybe it’s not that. Maybe I just find it hard to believe there are still women like you.”

  “Like me?” I can’t help echoing. Was that a compliment or an insult?

  “Pure.” Ethan’s tone has turned rough. “So fucking pure, the thought of dirtying you---”

  Oh!

  “---makes me insane with need for you.”

  Ah. His words are my defeat, and the ache between my legs becomes impossible to contain. I feel my legs slowly parting under the desk---

  I hear Ethan suck his breath.

  Ooooooh.

  He’s seen it.

  He’s watching me.

  Now.

  A good girl would’ve snapped her legs close at the knowledge, but instead I find myself opening my legs wider and wider, wanting – needing and hoping – he would see the dark wet patch on my panties.

  “God.” Ethan’s groan runs down the line like a hot caress. “You’re so damn wet.”

  His words make me feel even wetter, and my fingers tighten around my cellphone. Oh God. My pussy is throbbing so hard now. I can’t help squirming in my seat---

  “You’re squirming,” Ethan grates out. “I’ve told you what that sight does to me.”

  “I---”

  “Come to my office.” Ethan’s voice is hard and guttural. “Now---”

  “B-but---”

  “Ms. Montlake?” A handsome blond guy suddenly shows up next to my cubicle.

  Oh!

  I snap my legs closed, and I feel my face draining of blood when I see the tall, handsome man coming up to my cubicle. Dropping my cellphone unceremoniously to my desk, I spring up to my feet in a flurry of guilty, stammering, “Y-yes, sir?”

  Mr. Bryant raises a brow. “Are you okay?”

  My body is still trembling from unfulfilled desires, and I have a feeling my legs are about to give out any second.

  So no, I’m not okay. I’m not okay at all. But since I can’t say that---

  I nod jerkily, mumbling, “Yes, sir.”

  There’s a pause, and I try not to fidget, feeling like I’m being silently chided for lying.

  But what else can I say?

  I’m the CEO’s girlfriend and Ethan Alexander likes seeing me turned on at work?

  The thought almost has me shuddering. Nope. Not that at all. Never. Swallowing hard, I ask, “Is there anything I can do for you, sir?”

  Mr. Bryant nods, saying briskly, “As a matter of fact, yes.”

  As he speaks, I see my phone on the desk flash, and a preview of the message pop out. It’s from Ethan, of course.

  Don’t ever say that to any other man again.

  Oh!

  “I need you to follow me in my office. I want to go over some translations of a proposal I’m sending.”

  “Y-yes, sir.” As I speak, my cellphone’s screen lights up again.

  Fuck no. Turn him down. Now.

  I swallow hard.

  “Is there a problem?” Mr. Bryant is frowning, and it’s clear that he’s sensed my inner turmoil.

  Telling myself to be more careful since this guy is obviously more intuitive than most, I say firmly, “Nothing, sir.”

  “Then shall we go?”

  I open my mouth to answer, but Mr. Bryant’s already turned his back. Seeing him walk away, I scramble to get my things – pen, notepad, and phone – and rush after him. My iPhone buzzes against my palm, but I don’t dare check it. I’ve already a pretty good idea who it is sending me a message…and what is it about.

  A number of heads swings my way as I follow behind Mr. Bryant, but I keep my head down and pretend not to notice. Their curiosity – no, their incredulity almost borders on the offensive. Am I so incompetent that they can’t believe an executive would have need of my services?

  If that’s the case, then they’ll probably die of shock if word ever gets out that Mr. Beautiful and I are dating. The idea almost makes me laugh nervously, and I’m so lost in my thoughts that I fail to realize Mr. Bryant has stopped in front of me.

  A second later, I bump straight into his back---

  I let out a little squeak of pain. I feel like I’ve rammed right into a wall, and as I literally sway on my feet, Mr. Bryant’s swift reflexes kick in, and he pulls me back up.

  “Are you alright?”

  The slight irritation underlining his voice makes me turn red, and it doesn’t help that I hear other women tittering around us. “I’m sorry, sir,” I mumble.

  “Just take better care next time.” He opens the door for me then, saying briskly, “After you.”

  My iPhone buzzes again as I precede Mr. Bryant into his office, but I force myself to ignore it. I’m sorry, Ethan, I think guiltily, but it’s my internship on the line here.

  The door silently swings shut as Mr. Bryant follows me inside. He gestures towards one of the chairs across his table, saying curtly, “Sit.”

  Does he think I’m like a pet dog to command? The thought has me wrinkling my nose, but I manage to swallow back my irritation. I walk quietly to my seat, telling myself that choosing the path of least resistance will always be the best thing to do.

  As soon as Mr. Bryant takes his seat, he starts dictating without any warning at all---

  What a jerk!

  But again, I push the thought away and instead focus on his words, scribbling furiously on my notepad until I’ve caught up with his dictation. It’s only after a good ten minutes have past that Mr. Bryant pauses in his dictation. When I look up, he asks, “Did you get everything?”

  “Yes, sir.” Jerk.

  His eyebrow lifts. “May I see it?”

  “Of course, sir.” I hand him my notepad with both hands and stay on my feet while watching him surreptitiously. Mr. Bryant’s face wears a severe frown as he scans my notes.

  It’s almost like he wants to see something wrong with it, I realize with a start.

  Mr. Bryant suddenly looks up. “You can go now.”

  I blink in surprise. “If there are corrections---”

  The executive nods towards the door. “You heard me.” His voice is coldly pleasant.

  “Yes, sir.” Jerk.

  I
manage not to march out of my office. What a jerk! What a complete, total jerk!

  As soon as I make it back to my cubicle, Sally swings her seat around to face me, asking eagerly, “What’s that about?”

  “T-that?”

  “Mr. Bryant, duh! He’s never paid attention to any intern before.”

  Her words leave me puzzled, and I say uncertainly, “Maybe because I’m the first intern majoring in Asian languages?”

  My cubicle neighbor rolls her eyes. “Oh, puh-leez. Like anyone believes that. I think he’s got the hots for you, and this is his subtle way of letting you know.” Sally giggles. “Too bad for him, it’s not subtle enough for someone like me.”

  I start shaking my head as soon as her meaning becomes clear. “That’s impossible.”

  “Don’t worry.” Sally gives me a wink, whispering, “I can keep a secret.”

  Aghast at how she’s insisting on something that’s obviously untrue, I stammer, “It’s not---”

  But I might as well have saved my breath as Sally turns her back on me in her seat, a satisfied look on her face.

  Biting my lip, I debate whether or not to settle the issue right now when my iPhone suddenly buzzes.

  Oh God!

  Ethan!

  I quickly reach for my phone.

  He has the hots for you, has he?

  Oh drat! And he just had to hear that, too. I hurriedly type my reply. It’s not true. Mr. Bryant just---

  My landline suddenly rings, and I jump in my seat, my phone falling to my lap. Reaching for the receiver, I croak out, “Hello?”

  “Greet me in Japanese.”

  My whole world crumbles at the sound of Ethan’s voice. Jealous, furious, possessive---

  Is it bad that I find the combination mind-blowingly sexy?

  Swallowing hard, I say, “Ohayo.”

  “Good. That should take care of your nosy seatmate for now.”

  And I hope it does, I think anxiously. With the way Mr. Beautiful sounds now Sally’s going to be in a lot of trouble if she lets her curiosity get its way.

  “As for you…”

  My heart slams against my chest at the dangerous purr in Ethan’s voice. The sound should have frightened me, but instead I find myself strangely and shamefully…excited.

  Oh God.

  Does the prospect of his anger actually…turn me on?

  “You disobeyed me, Evan. I told you not to go with him. But you did.”

  My fingers curl around the receiver at the words. Why am I not scared?

  “That makes you a very bad girl.”

  I bite back a moan as his words flow around me seductively. Why am I not mad?

  “And with bad girls like you, the only way to ensure you don’t make a mistake---”

  Oh God. There’s no way to deny it anymore.

  “---is to punish you.”

  I struggle to breathe.

  He’s right.

  I am a bad girl.

  And a very bad one, I think dazedly, to get so wet at the threat of being punished.

  “Look at the camera, baby.” The rough command makes my toes curl. “I’m going to ask you a couple of questions, and I want you to bite your lip if your answer is yes. Do you understand?”

  I bite my lip.

  “And then I want to wet your lip if you mean no.”

  I bite my lip again.

  “Now…” Ethan’s voice turns silky. “Was disobeying me the right thing to do, Evan?”

  My tongue slowly darts out to lick my lip. No.

  “Then you admit you were being a bad little girl?”

  My teeth sink into my lower lip. Yes.

  I hear Ethan emit a low growl, and my toes curl harder. I can’t believe we’re doing this at work. I just can’t. And yet, even knowing what the consequences are---

  “Will you submit to my punishment?”

  I’m powerless to resist him.

  I pull my lower lip between my teeth, and the silent act of submission has Ethan drawing his breath harshly. I want to close my eyes and savor the sound. This is what I love the most about him, I realize dimly. He never tries to hide how much he wants me, and the knowledge empowers me like nothing else can.

  “Open your drawer, baby.”

  The words confuse me, but I still do as he says, and my brows furrow when I find an unfamiliar red box right in the middle. I take the lid off, and a gasp almost spills past my lips.

  “I can see your on face you’ve seen it.” Ethan’s voice is hard with satisfaction.

  I bite my lip hard. Yes. I’ve definitely seen it, and that’s the safest way to describe the hot pink clit vibrator staring back at me from the inside of my drawer.

  Do I even want to know how he got this box here?

  “Are you worried?”

  Absolutely! And so I bite my lip several times, and when he chuckles, I know he’s gotten how vehement my answer it.

  “There’s no need to be. Using it will be quite simple, and you won’t even have to take your panties off.”

  My jaw drops. Is that supposed to be comforting? Am I supposed to feel relieved that I get to keep panties on while using a clit vibrator?

  “Take the toy out of the drawer now, Evan. I’m sure you can figure how to get it under your skirt and between your legs without anyone seeing.”

  I gulp at what he’s asking. This is insane.

  Insanely exciting, my inner badass interjects slyly, is what you really mean, don’t you?

  The toy in my badly shaking hand feels utterly foreign, but everything proceeds exactly as Ethan says. In moments, I’m seated right on top of the vibrator, its soft-hard body tantalizingly pressed against my nub.

  “There’s also a controller in the box,” Ethan rasps out. “Do you see it?”

  I bite my lip.

  “Good. I’ll text the rest of what you have to do.”

  And just like that Ethan hangs up on me.

  For one full minute, I simply wait – hot, bothered, and achingly aroused. Surely, he’d call any moment? Surely he’s as tormented as I am? Surely---

  “Evan?”

  Blinking, I realize Sally’s staring at me with an odd expression.

  “Everything okay? You’ve been staring at your laptop for a while now.”

  “I---” My voice trails off when I see my iPhone’s screen light up.

  Turn it on now.

  Oh God.

  “Evan?” Sally presses.

  Now, Evan.

  I force myself to smile reassuringly at Sally. “I was just thinking about the translations Mr. Bryant made me do.” I discreetly reach for the remote control inside my drawer as I speak. “I’m worried I might have made some stupid mistakes.” And as soon as the last word slips out, I switch it on.

  AAAAAAAH.

  I pretend to rub my eyes as Sally goes on speaking, all to prevent her from accidentally seeing my eyes roll back at the unbelievable sensation of the little toy vibrating against my pussy.

  “He does have the reputation of being a perfectionist, doesn’t he?”

  Sally continues on, blithely unaware that none of her words are reaching me. The pleasure coming from the regular vibrations is unbelievable, and I find myself digging my fingers into my palms. I’m so, so close to squirming in my seat, and the sound of Sally’s nonstop chatter somehow makes the ache between my legs more agonizing.

  “…okay?”

  Oh, thank God, Sally’s done talking to me.

  I muster a smile, saying weakly, “Okay.” I have no idea what I’m agreeing to, and right now I don’t care. All I want is to savor the exquisite sensations exploding inside of me, and as soon as the other girl turns away I don’t waste another second.

  Gripping the edges of my desk, I quickly push my seat forward, and the new position hides the entire length of my legs. It’s exactly what I need and as soon as everything’s concealed I move my ass on my chair----

  AAAAAAAAH.

  This time, I have the vibrator exactly against my clit, where it’s meant to be.

  My iPhone’s screen lights up, and I force my fingers to loosen so I can reach for it.

  Keep at it until you come.

  The words make me bite my lip hard. Oh God, yes. Even though I know it’s wrong and reckless, I can no longer deny it. What he’s asking of me is what I want.

  Turn it up a notch.

  Ethan’s new command has me swallowing hard. These mild vibrations are already killing me. What more if I do as he says?

  My fingers shake as I reach for the controller inside the drawer and press the button to make the vibrations intensify---

  AAAAAAAAAH.

  Oh God, oh God.